Do You Want To Elevate? - Page 8 - B-Boys.com - Hip-Hop Rap Forums

CarbonB · 08-01-2007, 05:37 PM

Seems like you say everything is played...

CarbonB · 08-01-2007, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hoax

In a normal circumstance I would agree with Lucos because
constructive criticism is the ability to give an opinion giving
both positive and negative feedback, in a manner that isnt
too oppositional. However in rap there's not really away to
give informative criticisms. In the cases of art you cant really
give anybody direction, since art is an interpretation of what
you think or feel. If you look at a painting and you dont like
it, you could tell the artist what you dont like about it... like
"This leg looks too long." "Her head is too big" ect ect...But
you cant tell the artist what they need to do.... thats for them
to decide. Rap is a form of art and should be taken in the same
manner. If we gave the same advice to everyone, then everyone's
interpretation would be the same.... not making it an art form
anymore. So, yes.... He can tell you that somethings wrong
with it.... or tell you that something is missing. But how you're
going to go about changing that should be up to you.

This would be a good analogy if you didn't remove everything it took to become an artist. Lets say that an artist has been painting long enough to get their work on a show room floor. Same thing goes for a rapper, he has been rapping long enough and built up a large enough reputation to get cut a record deal.

Now, can someone tell him that his art is shit? Just like can they tell an artist their work is shit? No, but they can point out mistakes that even the most basic of painters or the most basic of rappers would know, or understand? Yes.

You can't create art until you have mastered the fundamentals, or rather the medium that allows you to create. Can a man who doesn't know how to speak learn to rap? No he can't, because first he must learn to speak, then he must learn to rap. First you must learn about paints, before you can begin painting. Sure you can give someone some paints and tell them to do whatever, but this is called finger painting and we all did it in kindergarten.

To elevate and to help someone elevate isn't telling them how to interpret life and form it into words in a rap. That makes absolutely no sense and isn't even possible. Criticism is telling someone WHY their wording is bad, what is making it bad? Why when you read it does it jump out at you as bad?

The ideas, the imagery, and everything else that the original rapper created was spot on to his own style, but wording, rhymes, format...those are all things that are taught and are but a medium to convey thought. So when it boils down to it, stop telling these people the same shit over and over and over, because their improvement is going to take decades.

khalidrocks · 08-01-2007, 08:30 PM

actually i completely agree with Carbon B on this point. Telling people that your concepts are played,wording is stretched and punches are corny doesn't actually help. Tell them what to do in order to fix these problems. Pin point the problem and tell them how to solve it as well. Don't just pin point problems without present their solution.

KempoMRK · 08-02-2007, 07:11 AM

If you could teach illness then everyone would be ill. You can advise. I can't say "do this, do this and do this" and suddenly you'll have the key to being nice. You think if it was like that I wouldn't be dope as fuck right now? As it is, I'm a decent battler. It's taken a while of finding out what's wrong with my verses 'n what's right with them to get to the stage I'm at. I get advice from Hensley on my verses quite a lot, he can't just say "right kemp, if you do this then you'll be a dope battler". He can say that he doesn't like this line or that line, or he does like that line 'n that line. Then I can work off what he's said and improve my verse.

I can't give you the fuckin solution. If I had the fuckin solution, then I'd have told you on the first page of this fuckin thread.

Another thing is originality. If I say "word your line like this", then you're gonna end up writing like me. If I say "that line was worded badly", then you'll think about it and improve YOUR OWN wording.

You can't expect someone else to completely eradicate anything bad about the verses you're dropping, you've gotta work yourself and eradicate it yourself.

khalidrocks · 08-03-2007, 04:54 AM

Your text's boring as hell,it's a disgrace to the nation
Voters feel sleepy on it..psychiatrists prescribed it for insomnia patients
Your ideas are played,they just don't hit son.
If old's gold,then his concepts must be the diamond
Plus Your battle tactics are a failure, poor soul
Punches like devoted lovers....they never achieve their goal
Your text structure's just horrible,it ain't on top
It's so ugly,plastic surgeons're unwilling to do their job
Everyone's sick of your lame presence,they want u dead, mate
They shouting "finish him" as if we are playing Mortal Kombat

DONE

YungSkept · 08-06-2007, 10:40 AM

Can anyone break this down .......,

Call me Neil Armstrong ..... the first nigga to walk on the 'full surface',
this nigga talks like hurtin folks ..... but ain't even got two verbs in,
you chit chatter words not to it's full purpose.... now dats what i call worthless,
speakin of that matter of fact... you only rappin to become the corpse of the corpses,
and compared to the site.... your lines might be similar to baby bear pourage,(think)
knowin i've son'd this duke .... you could prolly tell mines the hottest,
you can call me a fluke.... but "hey" im only bein modest aside of honest,
and you can unlock it an' say gon' pop shit like rockets .... but not this cuz i got reflexes dat'll make you sleep wit prophits,
You sound like the lowest nigga around... i wonder how you gon' top this,

DONE

KempoMRK · 08-07-2007, 04:20 AM

khalidrocks - First line is played, it's been used a lot and in the same way as well. Second line was weird, old's gold? That's not a cliche or anything, it seems like you made it up to make the line work. Achieve their goal was nothing, no real concept. Ugly line was basic. Mortal kombat line was weak 'n it didn't rhyme.

YungSkept - Opener was weak and fillerish. There was no real punch or concept there. Corpse line was fillerish, again, no concept. Filler again. Filler, filler. Yea, you gotta work on concepts a lot. Your verses are full of filler 'n no real punches. Check out this thread: http://forums.b-boys.com/f18/elevation-tools-3996/

D.C. · 09-27-2007, 04:18 PM

this was against Alliance

i thinks its time for you to sit down, son, and take a rest/
any alliance formed with you is shaky at best/
let me guess: you didnt pass the final test?/
still stuck at home suckling, caressing your mothers breast?/
aint never seen lines like yours, jumbled up on the page/
no apparent structure, filled with just one emotion: its rage/
can you imagine spittin those words up on stage?/
i'd imagine the audience would just sit there dazed/
but not out of wonderment or lyrical praise/
just waiting, an hour, for the entertaining phase/

ashakur0789 · 04-07-2008, 01:22 AM

HELP OUT WID THIS PLEASE HOW SHALL IT BE DESCRIBED AM A NOOB INTO THIS RAP BUSS-INESS

remember bak in da day we used to be together
bak in da day we promised to love each other
hands in hands,we thought we'll live like this forever
never left each other alone
and felt real sad when one of us was gone
i thought we were born fo each otha
love at first sight,now i thik i should have shot ma self wid a bretta
you argued on da wrong turn,
you stepped on da wrong burn
we splited up like leafs from da trees
and thats how it all turn took a ticket no return
sometime's we make decision,that aint our's
but love is fo survivors,not fo those who work fo their other
you diched at your best,
but my heart neva rest
now you recognize my love for you
you want me bak wid da same feelins fo you
but you neva layed your heart fo me
n i bet if i'll b back you'll playin wid someone back at me
so i wanna say juz go away
love is my saviour,i've learnt to walk alone in da rain

X Mayne · 10-02-2008, 01:49 PM

against mad vision

oh gawdd.. this nerd again.. kid i'll murder ya words
shiett..
the only thing bold bout you is the text in ya verse
dont even test me dude.. i'll banish you from the sitee
and vision knows squat........hes bein doin it all his life
you'll never amount to anything, so just stop tryin
and the shit that you dropped didnt even have a punchline
I'm new to this text shit, and smash ya face in the fence
you and your lines have a thing in common.. neither make centss

against methodic and mad vision

Both you herbs hop off mah nuts... you kids is rookies
its like im a strapon...inbetween these two pussies
visions just quit you docuhe.. you wont get far
i'll fuck with ya girl ..
..and have her ass streached like ya bars
and this other geek.. hes obviously lame...
hes gay..
check out the dic in this kids name...
gettin fame.. i shit on kids like this noob
i'll smoke meth.... like drug addicts do.

umm here some random stuff i dropped in the cypher forums, appreciate the help

KempoMRK · 10-07-2008, 10:48 AM

X Mayne, if you want help then sign up for mentoring:

http://www.b-boys.com/forums/f106/me...erested-12074/

You can post both those verses 'n I'll break them down as well as your league battles.

MStan · 11-06-2008, 12:23 AM

I wanna listen your opinion about this sing
rapidshare.com/files/161115778/My_Love.mp3.html

MStan · 11-06-2008, 02:12 PM

is anybody here?

Sudoku · 03-20-2009, 06:58 AM

???

PeterFreepackete · 01-05-2010, 06:28 PM

Hearing the "this player out hustles everybody" speech.
Granted, it usually is about me, I know that in other sports, I cant stand it.

Or the "why dont any of you care" speech. Because every time, I know Im one of the players that is giving his all, and I hate feeling as if my coach is accusing me of not.

08-01-2007, 08:30 PM	#213
khalidrocks Evil Science Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Between the heavens and earth Posts: 186	actually i completely agree with Carbon B on this point. Telling people that your concepts are played,wording is stretched and punches are corny doesn't actually help. Tell them what to do in order to fix these problems. Pin point the problem and tell them how to solve it as well. Don't just pin point problems without present their solution. __________________ *Im fillin niggaz with so much lead they can use their dick as a pencil*

08-03-2007, 04:54 AM	#215
khalidrocks Evil Science Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Between the heavens and earth Posts: 186	Break it down Kempo. Your text's boring as hell,it's a disgrace to the nation Voters feel sleepy on it..psychiatrists prescribed it for insomnia patients Your ideas are played,they just don't hit son. If old's gold,then his concepts must be the diamond Plus Your battle tactics are a failure, poor soul Punches like devoted lovers....they never achieve their goal Your text structure's just horrible,it ain't on top It's so ugly,plastic surgeons're unwilling to do their job Everyone's sick of your lame presence,they want u dead, mate They shouting "finish him" as if we are playing Mortal Kombat DONE __________________ *Im fillin niggaz with so much lead they can use their dick as a pencil* Last edited by KempoMRK; 08-07-2007 at 04:20 AM.

08-06-2007, 10:40 AM	#216
YungSkept G.B.H. ViCe PrEz Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Who gives a .... Posts: 149	Link= http://forums.b-boys.com/f13/full-surface-vs-yung-skept-7935/#post69630 Can anyone break this down ......., Call me Neil Armstrong ..... the first nigga to walk on the 'full surface', this nigga talks like hurtin folks ..... but ain't even got two verbs in, you chit chatter words not to it's full purpose.... now dats what i call worthless, speakin of that matter of fact... you only rappin to become the corpse of the corpses, and compared to the site.... your lines might be similar to baby bear pourage,(think) knowin i've son'd this duke .... you could prolly tell mines the hottest, you can call me a fluke.... but "hey" im only bein modest aside of honest, and you can unlock it an' say gon' pop shit like rockets .... but not this cuz i got reflexes dat'll make you sleep wit prophits, You sound like the lowest nigga around... i wonder how you gon' top this, DONE __________________ *Y.S* *G.B.H. ALL DAY(Gorilla Bank Hustlaz) Last edited by KempoMRK; 08-07-2007 at 04:20 AM.*

03-20-2009, 06:58 AM	#224
Sudoku Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 254	??? Last edited by Sudoku; 03-20-2009 at 09:18 AM.

01-05-2010, 06:28 PM	#225
PeterFreepackete Newb Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 1	Do You Want To Elevate Hearing the "this player out hustles everybody" speech. Granted, it usually is about me, I know that in other sports, I cant stand it. Or the "why dont any of you care" speech. Because every time, I know Im one of the players that is giving his all, and I hate feeling as if my coach is accusing me of not.

08-01-2007, 05:37 PM	#211
CarbonB Bizanned Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Dallas, Texas Posts: 652	Seems like you say everything is played...

08-02-2007, 07:11 AM	#214
KempoMRK The Don Corleone Join Date: May 2005 Location: England Posts: 5,430	If you could teach illness then everyone would be ill. You can advise. I can't say "do this, do this and do this" and suddenly you'll have the key to being nice. You think if it was like that I wouldn't be dope as fuck right now? As it is, I'm a decent battler. It's taken a while of finding out what's wrong with my verses 'n what's right with them to get to the stage I'm at. I get advice from Hensley on my verses quite a lot, he can't just say "right kemp, if you do this then you'll be a dope battler". He can say that he doesn't like this line or that line, or he does like that line 'n that line. Then I can work off what he's said and improve my verse. I can't give you the fuckin solution. If I had the fuckin solution, then I'd have told you on the first page of this fuckin thread. Another thing is originality. If I say "word your line like this", then you're gonna end up writing like me. If I say "that line was worded badly", then you'll think about it and improve YOUR OWN wording. You can't expect someone else to completely eradicate anything bad about the verses you're dropping, you've gotta work yourself and eradicate it yourself.

08-07-2007, 04:20 AM	#217
KempoMRK The Don Corleone Join Date: May 2005 Location: England Posts: 5,430	khalidrocks - First line is played, it's been used a lot and in the same way as well. Second line was weird, old's gold? That's not a cliche or anything, it seems like you made it up to make the line work. Achieve their goal was nothing, no real concept. Ugly line was basic. Mortal kombat line was weak 'n it didn't rhyme. YungSkept - Opener was weak and fillerish. There was no real punch or concept there. Corpse line was fillerish, again, no concept. Filler again. Filler, filler. Yea, you gotta work on concepts a lot. Your verses are full of filler 'n no real punches. Check out this thread: http://forums.b-boys.com/f18/elevation-tools-3996/

09-27-2007, 04:18 PM	#218
D.C. Newb Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 15	this was against Alliance i thinks its time for you to sit down, son, and take a rest/ any alliance formed with you is shaky at best/ let me guess: you didnt pass the final test?/ still stuck at home suckling, caressing your mothers breast?/ aint never seen lines like yours, jumbled up on the page/ no apparent structure, filled with just one emotion: its rage/ can you imagine spittin those words up on stage?/ i'd imagine the audience would just sit there dazed/ but not out of wonderment or lyrical praise/ just waiting, an hour, for the entertaining phase/

04-07-2008, 01:22 AM	#219
ashakur0789 Newb Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 9	HELP OUT WID THIS PLEASE HOW SHALL IT BE DESCRIBED AM A NOOB INTO THIS RAP BUSS-INESS remember bak in da day we used to be together bak in da day we promised to love each other hands in hands,we thought we'll live like this forever never left each other alone and felt real sad when one of us was gone i thought we were born fo each otha love at first sight,now i thik i should have shot ma self wid a bretta you argued on da wrong turn, you stepped on da wrong burn we splited up like leafs from da trees and thats how it all turn took a ticket no return sometime's we make decision,that aint our's but love is fo survivors,not fo those who work fo their other you diched at your best, but my heart neva rest now you recognize my love for you you want me bak wid da same feelins fo you but you neva layed your heart fo me n i bet if i'll b back you'll playin wid someone back at me so i wanna say juz go away love is my saviour,i've learnt to walk alone in da rain

10-02-2008, 01:49 PM	#220
X Mayne Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 25	against mad vision oh gawdd.. this nerd again.. kid i'll murder ya words shiett.. the only thing bold bout you is the text in ya verse dont even test me dude.. i'll banish you from the sitee and vision knows squat........hes bein doin it all his life you'll never amount to anything, so just stop tryin and the shit that you dropped didnt even have a punchline I'm new to this text shit, and smash ya face in the fence you and your lines have a thing in common.. neither make centss against methodic and mad vision Both you herbs hop off mah nuts... you kids is rookies its like im a strapon...inbetween these two pussies visions just quit you docuhe.. you wont get far i'll fuck with ya girl .. ..and have her ass streached like ya bars and this other geek.. hes obviously lame... hes gay.. check out the dic in this kids name... gettin fame.. i shit on kids like this noob i'll smoke meth.... like drug addicts do. umm here some random stuff i dropped in the cypher forums, appreciate the help

10-07-2008, 10:48 AM	#221
KempoMRK The Don Corleone Join Date: May 2005 Location: England Posts: 5,430	X Mayne, if you want help then sign up for mentoring: http://www.b-boys.com/forums/f106/me...erested-12074/ You can post both those verses 'n I'll break them down as well as your league battles.

11-06-2008, 12:23 AM	#222
MStan Newb Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Russia Posts: 16	I wanna listen your opinion about this sing rapidshare.com/files/161115778/My_Love.mp3.html

11-06-2008, 02:12 PM	#223
MStan Newb Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Russia Posts: 16	is anybody here?

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